Instead of focusing on oneself, oftentimes the best place to find inspiration is in the work of others. This is especially true during challenging times when the temptation is to become more self-focused. It is precisely at these moments that we need to look beyond ourselves to find the strength we need.

A scene from the movie Invictus captures the power of finding inspiration outside of oneself. President Mandela (Morgan Freeman) tells Francois Pienaar (Matt Damon), captain of the national rugby team, how during the darkest times in his life, he found courage in an unexpected place:

On Robin’s Island when things got very bad I found inspiration in a poem, a Victorian poem. They are just words but they helped me to stand when all I wanted to do was lie down.

The poem is, of course, Invictus. May it inspire you to greatness:

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.

Being a good interviewee is both an art and a science. A recent study highlights the single reason why a good candidate sometimes doesn’t get the job: anxiety. The problem isn’t the obvious manifestations of anxiety like shaky hands or nervous tics. The reason the anxious candidates are judged harshly is because they seem to lack assertiveness and warmth. As summed up by Christian Jarrett:

Anxious interviewees needn’t worry too much about any little nervous tics they might have, and should focus instead on the larger impression they make – by learning to come over as assertive and friendly, it is likely they will conceal their anxiety and receive a fairer appraisal from the interviewers.

The good news is there are a number of strategies to help you make a good impression.

1. Visualize victory

Job seekers who practice mental imagery were less stressed and received better evaluations than those who didn’t. Take 10 minutes picturing yourself feeling confident throughout the interview and envision it ending with a job offer.

2. Power pose

Before the interview, take a moment in the bathroom or stairwell to make a power pose (think Warrior in yoga). During the interview, uncross your arms and sit up straight. Convey warmth with a friendly smile and eye contact.

3. Tell them about your potential

The interviewer has read your resume. Tell her what you are capable of doing in the future. Highlight your strengths.

4. Do your homework

Read up and ask questions that reflect your curiosity and genuine interest in the company and the people who work there.

5. Everyone counts

Be sure to greet the doorman, the receptionist and everyone you meet with respect. A friend told me he always asks his assistant how the applicant treated him. If the answer is not good, no matter how qualified, the candidate is nixed.

6. Rehearse without looking rehearsed

Ask a friend to give you a mock interview. Think through what you want to say or convey and please don’t memorize anything. You will sound like a robot.

7. Be curious

Ask questions that reflect your knowledge but that don’t make you look like a show off.

8. Wear something that makes you feel good about yourself

Navy, black and gray are good choices. Studies show orange is a terrible idea. Polished shoes, manicured finger nails, and tidy hair send a professional message.

9. Say thank you

Send a note—email or handwritten—saying how much you enjoyed the interview. Be specific about what you learned and about how you think you can contribute.

Some people are like sunspots. Adam Gopnik’s description of Richard Avedon captures this incandescent quality perfectly:

To know Dick Avedon was to know the sun. He radiated out, early and daily, on a circle of friends and family and colleagues, who drew on his light and warmth for sustenance…. To know him was to feel in the presence of the sun…

Indeed, some people are so magnetic that we feel a gravitational pull towards them. We describe this quality as “charisma” and most people think of it as something you are either born with or not.  However, as illustrated in Olivia Fox Cabane’s The Charisma Myth, this is not the case. In fact, charisma is a skill that can be learned.

Cabane offers three quick tips to gain an instant charisma boost in conversation:

1. Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of your sentences.

2. Reduce how quickly and how often you nod.

3. Pause for two full seconds before you speak.

According to Cabane, charisma is the coming together of three essential elements: Presence, Power and Warmth. This magic combination enhances our own experience and how others experience us:

If you’re a leader, or aspire to be one, charisma matters. It gives you a competitive advantage in attracting and retaining the very best talent. It makes people want to work with you, your team, and your company. Research shows that those following charismatic leaders perform better, experience their work as more meaningful, and have more trust in their leader.

 

It’s absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. 

– Oscar Wilde