How to Apologize and Why It Matters
“If it means so much to you, then … sorry.” Logan Roy’s apology to his children in episode 2 of the fourth season of Succession...
High Quality Comforting — 3 Ways to Support the Ones You Love
“In a relationship, each person should support the other; they should lift each other up,” says the ever-enlightened Taylor Swift. Of course, elevating and...
Is Decentering the Key for Feeling Centered?
When I meet a patient for the first time, I always ask about what they hope to achieve in therapy. Of course, therapy is...
Five Steps to Transform Ill-Will into Good-Will
“Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”
— Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith
Last week I wrote...
A Simple Trick for Seeing the World Through Fresh Eyes
Like many jaded New Yorkers, Dolly Faibyshev had stopped noticing her surroundings. The skyscrapers no longer impressed her and the bright lights no longer...
How You Eat A Chocolate Bunny Reveals Your Personality
It is time to address a serious matter. When you eat a chocolate bunny,
what part of the bunny do you eat first? The ears,...
There Is No Right or Wrong Way to Grieve
The heartbreak in Nashville is unimaginable. “Unfathomable” is the word that keeps coming to mind. Merriam-Webster defines “unfathomable” as not being capable of being fathomed, immeasurable, impossible...
Harness the Science of the “Fresh Start Effect” to Help You Reach Your Goals
“So much for my New Year’s resolution to eat healthy,” lamented my friend as she polished off a bag of M&Ms. If any of the virtuous...
Maybe You Don’t Need to Talk to Someone
Stressed? Burned out? Lonely? Dealing with a breakup? Conflict with a co-worker? Feeling down? The blanket recommendation for anyone going through a rough patch these...
Are You Quiet Quitting Your Relationship?
“The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference” — Elie Wiesel
Quiet quitting—the now ubiquitous expression that refers to doing the bare minimum at...
7 Ways to Check Your Phone Less and Live More
How much time do you spend on your phone a day? Be honest. Due to a combination of denial and genuine lack of awareness, most...
This Is How to Stop Ruminating
“Nothing in life is as important as you think it is, while you are thinking about it.”
— Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow
Do you ever get...
You Can Stop Worrying About Finding Yourself
Ten years ago I was invited to give a talk at the American Psychiatric Association's annual meeting. In those days, I wasn't used to...
What Vulnerable Narcissists Really Fear
Vulnerable narcissists, also known as covert narcissists, may not be as overtly obnoxious or arrogant as grandiose narcissists but possess their own unique set of unappealing...
Are Foursomes the Secret to Keeping Romance Alive?
A candlelit dinner for two is the classic way to keep romance alive but research from Wayne State University suggests that going on a double...
The Psychological Diagnosis for People Who Lie About Everything
It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what. — Hugh Laurie
Truth be told, we all...
The Benefits of Diversifying Your Social Portfolio
“Friendship isn’t a big thing — it’s a million little things.” Paulo Coelho.
Mounting evidence shows that tending to our friendships matters as much to...
A Cure for Catastrophizing
“There were many terrible things in my life and most of them never happened.” — Michael Montaigne
“Everything is ruined:” Catastrophizing is the tendency to jump...
Take Control of the Story You Tell About Yourself
“We tell ourselves stories in order to live.” Joan Didion
We are story-telling creatures. They help us make sense of the world and our place...
Goblin Mode: The Antidote for Perfectionism
So the Word of the Year is goblin mode. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the selection is “a word or expression reflecting the ethos, mood, or...