Love Literally Hurts – So Does Being Left Out

Love hurts — the pain is emotional and physical. In the 1970s, scientist Jaak Panseep discovered that puppies separated from their mothers were less likely to cry if given small doses of morphine. Pansee suspected a connection between physical and emotional pain, but couldn’t find a way to replicate his study in humans.

A decade ago though, Naomi Eisenberger did just that at the University of California, Los Angeles. Eisenberger tricked subjects into thinking they were being excluded from games with others and found that the areas of the brain that registered physical pain were the very same areas reacting to the social exclusion.

While physical and emotional pain may overlap, according to the results of a study out of Purdue University, physical pain fades sooner than emotional. When test subjects were asked to recall pain from the past, they provided more detail about emotional pain than they did about a physical injury.

This comes as no surprise to anybody who has ever had a broken heart. Some scars last longer than others.

I wish you all the best,

Dr. Samantha Boardman

Paralyzing Choices

When it comes to choice, most people assume that more is more. Whether we are choosing a doctor, shoes, what to order for dinner or setting up a 401k, we are faced with countless options. As Barry Schwartz writes in his bestselling book, The Paradox of Choice, having the freedom to choose what we want is a core cultural value. But as luxurious and convenient as this abundance of choice is, it has a dark side.

Too many choices can be overwhelming. In a study entitled, When choice is demotivating: Can one desire too much of a good thing? people were more likely to purchase gourmet jams or chocolates when offered just six options rather than when offered 30 options. Similarly, college students were more likely to write an optional class essay assignment when given fewer topics to choose from. Significantly, when the options were limited, the participants in the studies reported greater satisfaction with their jams and chocolates and wrote better essays.

There are a number of possible explanations for these results. Avoidance of potential regret, feeling overwhelmed, and the amount of effort it takes to choose. As Schwartz describes:

A large array of options may discourage consumers because it forces an increase in the effort that goes into making a decision. So consumers choose not to decide. Or if they do, the effort that the decision requires detracts from the enjoyment of the results.

Choice overload makes you question the choices you make, it sets up unrealistically high expectations, and we end up blaming ourselves for making the wrong choice.

Jam is one thing. Being paralyzed by choice can carry more serious consequences when it comes to making important decisions. For example, in a study using data from over 800,000 employees, participation in 401(k) plans was higher in plans offering a handful of funds as compared to plans offering 10 or more. When overwhelmed with plans, choosing none may become the default option.

Bottom Line: When it comes to making choices, some choice is good. If you choose not to choose, be sure it is an active rather than passive decision.

I wish you all the best,

Dr. Samantha Boardman

The Importance of Being Little: What Preschoolers Really Need from Grownups

Well researched with a personalized touch, this book brings to light the troubles early education is presenting to our youth, and how that will impact an entire generation. Being an early childhood educator and school consultant, Christakis has direct experience seeing how the emphasis on our current curriculum standards aren’t actually benefiting our children in the classroom. Children need to play, be creative and get their hands dirty, and that is exactly what we have been discouraging them from doing.

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Queen of Fashion: What Marie Antoinette Wore to the Revolution

This elegant and quick read doesn’t claim to be a biography about Marie-Antoinette, but rather focuses brilliantly on the clothing choices she and her handlers made at every juncture in her tenure as Dauphine, and later Queen of France. This is the perfect gift for history buffs and fashionistas alike.

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The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

There is a good reason this book is a number one seller. This tidy manifesto has the power to change your life my encouraging a zen style de-cluttering and approach to stuff. If you know someone in need of getting their home, office or life in impeccable order, and only keeping around the items that spark joy, this is the gift for them.

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Table Manners: How to Behave in the Modern World and Why Bother

For every young person, woman and man, world traveler or homebody, who needs brushing up on their manners, this is the perfect gift. This book presents the importance of values in a witty and knowledgeable manner from the creative mind of Jeremiah Tower, James Beard award winning author and chef and classic cartoon style illustrations by Libby VanderPloeg. This book is for everyone for any occasion.