Ancient Egyptians used copper, lead and malachite to color and define their faces and kohl to line their eyes. Ancient Greeks used crushed mulberries as rouge, oxen hair as fake eyelashes, and clay mixed with red iron as lipstick. During the Middle Ages, Europeans applied carbonate, hydroxide, and lead oxide as foundation.

Indeed, since the beginning of time women have been adorning their faces and bodies to make themselves more beautiful. Over the course of their lifetimes today, most women will spend approximately $13,000 on beauty products and one year and three months applying makeup. The question is why are women doing this and, more importantly, is it worth the time and money?

A study sheds light on these questions. Researchers asked test subjects to rate the attractiveness of women with varying degrees of makeup. The results showed that both men and women prefer faces with less makeup – bad news for fans of a “more is more” look.

Given that a natural look is preferred by both genders, why do some women apply so much makeup? The study’s lead scientists attribute this to misperception. When test participants were asked what they believe men prefer, they found that women mistakenly assumed men prefer women who wear more makeup. According to the researchers:

These results suggest that women are likely wearing cosmetics to appeal to the mistaken preferences of others.

As the study shows, too much makeup isn’t appealing. It may even be sending the wrong message: that you are trying too hard, have too much time on your hands, or are trying to hide something. Furthermore, it might even be making you look older.

Makeup can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn’t help if you’re ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up. ~ Audrey Hepburn

Novelty wears off in life and love. Researchers call this process of getting used to things hedonic adaptation. Positive psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky explores how love changes over time. Quoting Raymond Chandler, she captures the changing nature of love perfectly:

“The first kiss is magic. The second is intimate. The third is routine.”

No matter how hopelessly (or hopefully) romantic you are, falling in love and staying in love are two different experiences. According to Lyubomirsky’s research, the initial burst of happiness people experience after falling in love abates over time. That doesn’t mean the love is gone. It turns from “passionate love” into “companionate love” which is based on shared beliefs, mutual respect and commitment.

In her book The Myth of Happiness, Lyubomirsky suggests a few simple, practical ways to address the pitfalls of hedonic adaptation in relationships. Her insights combine common sense with scientific research.

Appreciation

As we settle into our lives with a partner, day-to-day demands can crowd out expressions of appreciation that were easy and spontaneous at the beginning of the relationship. She suggests writing down things that you appreciate about your partner to slow the “adaptation” process. Another strategy is to imagine life without your partner. The point is not to take your relationship for granted.

Variation

Variety is the key to avoiding stagnation in a relationship. Lyubomirsky suggests learning something new together like a language, taking a dance or cooking class. Routines may be necessary but it’s important to balance them with excitement.

Surprise

Spontaneity makes a difference. Studies show that people are reminded of their attraction to their partner when they see them in an unexpected context — like watching them give a speech if they never have before, or running a marathon for the first time. It reminds them that there is more to the person they brush their teeth next to in the morning.

“The art of love… is largely the art of persistence.” ~Albert Ellis

Imagine interviewing for your dream job and being asked, “What is the worst grade you’ve ever received on an exam?” Do you come clean and tell them about the “F” you received in Organic Chemistry or do you avoid answering it?

In an attempt to make a good impression, be it on a job interview or on a first date, most people prefer to withhold information to direct questions that will surely embarrass them or make them look bad. This strategy can seriously backfire. Harvard Business School reveals there is a serious downside to sweeping unflattering information under the rug.

Across a series of experiments, participants were asked to choose between two people — one who gave truthful but embarrassing answers to questions about drug-taking, bad grades, and sexually transmitted diseases, and one who refused to answer. Over and over, those who “fessed up” were preferred and viewed more positively…”

As tempting as it is to avoid disclosing unsavory information, if you really want someone to like you or hire you, you are better off telling the truth. That said, Leslie K. John, one of the authors of the paper, cautions not to take this research as an excuse to write a “tell all:”

It would be wrong to conclude from this research that we should all go out and tell everybody our deepest and darkest secrets. That would be creepy and weird.

In other words, avoid providing TMI (too much information), but come clean when you are asked a direct question, even if the answer isn’t altogether flattering. Your honesty will make you look good.