What makes human beings unique? In an unforgettable speech to a Stanford graduating class, neuroscientist Robert Sapolsky explores this question and challenges what many of us think about what separates us from animals.

It turns out that we may not be so special after all.

“There is nothing fancy about us at all. We are just a basic off-the-rack mammal,” says Sapolsky.

Over the years, traits and abilities once thought to set human beings apart have been found in other species. For example, bats observe the Golden Rule. Chimpanzees exhibit empathy. The dark side of what was once thought to be specific to human nature is evident in other species too. As Saposkly explains, we are not the only species that kill our own kind in cold blood:

Other species kill strategically in ways that would make Machiavelli proud.

That said, there are some things that humans do for which there is no analogy in the animal world. According to Sapolsky, what is most defining about human beings is the ability to deal with contradictions.

To illustrate, he cites the case of a Catholic nun who ministers to prisoners on death row in Louisiana. He describes the men as:

…some of the most frightening, nightmarish humans who have ever walked this Earth.

When asked how she can spend her time with such men, she replies:

The less forgivable the act, the more it must be forgiven. The less lovable the person is, the more you must find the means to love them.

As a strident atheist, this strikes Saposkly:

 …as the most irrational, magnificent thing we are capable of as a species.

Sapolsky’s insight about our ability to withstand contradiction reminds me of the wonderful story about a man who encounters a young boy on a beach. The beach is strewn with thousands of starfish that had washed up onto the shore after a storm. The boy is picking up the starfish, one by one, and throwing them back into the ocean so they won’t die.

The old man says, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water he said, “It made a difference for that one.”

The ability to embrace contradictions is indeed magnificent. As human beings, we are capable of forgiving the unforgivable, loving the unlovable, transcending the unfathomable and achieving the impossible. Just because we know a single person cannot really make a difference, it is all the more necessary that we must try to make a difference.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. ~Aesop

Do you feel exhausted after the weekend? The allure of pleasant, in the moment, and easy activities is powerful. After a long week, it’s hard to resist a bowl of potato chips, a remote control, and a widescreen. However, as tempting as it sounds to lounge around in your PJs all weekend, the trick to fulfilling and restorative downtime is to do stuff.

Many of us waste our leisure time in passive activities like watching TV and scrolling through social media but, as research clearly demonstrates, engaging in physically or psychologically demanding activities is far more satisfying. The strange thing is that most of us are aware of this fact and yet cannot help ourselves from turning into couch potatoes on the weekend.

A study entitled The Paradox of Happiness: Why are we not doing what makes us happy?, found that the main obstacle separating us doing things that actually bring lasting happiness is that we perceive them as intimidating. The key then is to make more effortful but satisfying activities seem just a little less daunting. For example, you could put your workout clothes out the night before so that when you wake up, that extra step of finding your jog bra is already taken care of.

Another strategy is to schedule activities, especially with a friend. If you are already committed and it is on your calendar, you are more likely to follow through. Don’t just slide into your weekend, decide what you want to do in advance and do it. 

This article originally appeared in the July 2018 print issue of Marie Claire Magazine.