Romance 101: The Secret to Making It Work

Contrary to what many believe, spending all of your time with your partner is not the best idea. While it is important to share the same values, having different interests and hobbies is healthy for a relationship.

The key is respecting the other person’s interests and encouraging them to pursue them. Psychologists refer to this as “autonomy support.” In other words, if your significant other loves to go camping but it’s not for you, suggest they go on a camping trip. If your partner is passionate about Broadway but you cannot stand it, buy tickets for them and their best friend.

People are happiest when they do things that matter to them and become frustrated when they cannot. Encouraging the one you love to pursue their interests is relationship enhancing.

This is not to say that you and your partner need to be totally independent. On the contrary, when you support another’s autonomy it will bring you closer together.

A healthy relationship is one where two independent people just make a deal that they will help make the other person the best version of themselves.

– Unknown

I wish you all the best,

Dr. Samantha Boardman