Just Do It: A Counterintuitive Approach to Feeling Good

As a psychiatrist I spent years trying to change how people think. I thought if I could help them become more open-minded, less judgmental or more optimistic, they would be able to initiate the change they longed for in their lives. But this approach had limitations. Talking through problems and thinking about them is not always enough. It doesn’t necessarily result in behavior change.

Take Sarah, a 23-year-old recent college graduate. With therapy and medication, she felt less depressed and pessimistic but that didn’t translate into action. She still spent her days on the sofa in front of the television watching talk shows, scrolling through Instagram or running errands.

What I have learned is that one of the best ways to help people make positive changes it to focus more on what they do instead of exclusively on what they think. Taking action is empowering and creates small wins.

In Sarah’s case this meant volunteering at a nursing home every Wednesday. She was reluctant at first but was soon surprised by how much she enjoyed spending time with the elderly ladies, playing cards and reading the newspaper to them. She liked feeling useful. Best of all, having a positive experience in the nursing home emboldened her to take concrete steps in other areas of her life.

As a result of feeling stronger, Sarah submitted her CV to healthcare startups. She signed up for spinning classes three days a week with a friend. She started studying for the GMAT and filled out applications to become a social worker. Working at the nursing home opened the crack in the door—the light began to flood in when she realized how doing things helped her feel better.

Treatment that focuses more on behavior change than thoughts is known as Behavior Activation therapy (BA). As recently highlighted in Scientific American Mind:

One could easily describe BA as a Nike form of therapy, guided by the dictum ‘Just Do IT.’

Most people assume that they have to feel better before they can make a change. Consider for a moment that the opposite may be true—if you make changes now, odds are you will start to feel better.

I wish you all the best,

Dr. Samantha Boardman

6 Ways to Shake Up the “Power-Parenting” Rules

Do you spend more time on your children than with them?

There’s a lot of parenting advice out there. In addition to friends and family weighing in on how to raise a perfect kid, there are over 58,000 parenting books telling you what you should and should not do. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and feel inadequate. A friend and exasperated fellow mom recently told me, “I felt like I was spending more time on my children than with my children.” She has since decided to turn off “power-parenting mode” and enjoy being a mom without the pressure of trying to be the perfect parent with the perfect child.

Here are six science-backed tips to help you do the same:

1. Let your kids get bored

Instead of feeling pressure to plan fun activities and schedule extra classes, allow for some downtime. Encourage your kids to keep themselves busy and to fill free time by coming up with their own plans and activities. In addition to boosting their creativity and ability to take initiative, you will benefit from not having to drive them to yet another afterschool practice.

2. Walk the walk

Make healthy habits a family value. Model the behavior you want to encourage. Eat the fruits and vegetables you serve to your kids. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Make sleep a priority for everyone. Everyone will be happier, healthier and less stressed.

3. Sit on your hands

Allow your kids to solve their own problems (when age appropriate). Resist the impulse to swoop in and resolve any issue they are having at school or with a friend. This robs them of the confidence that they can do it on their own and undermines their ability to learn to navigate their way through a challenge.

4. Cultivate communication

Ask your children questions. If “How was your day?” is usually met with “Fine,” and a shoulder shrug, try something more specific like, “How was today different from yesterday?” or “What’s the one word you’d use to describe today?” Do your best to listen and give them your full attention. Create cell–free zones at home, especially at the dining room table. Avoid being half-there.

5. Take care of yourself

Women are the first to take great care of others and the last to take care of themselves. Don’t skip that doctor’s appointment. Take time to see friends. Hire a babysitter so you can have a date night. You will be a better mom when your own needs are met.

6. Send them out the door

Encourage your children to play outside and minimize screen time. In addition to being good for their physical fitness, studies show it improves academic performance. Best of all, it’s fun.

I wish you all the best,

Dr. Samantha Boardman

(Not So) Famous Last Words

Do people become more grateful when they are asked to reflect upon their own mortality? Studies show that taking time to thinking about one’s death can actually promote healthy behaviors and help people prioritize what matters most to them.

I read a haunting article in Scientific American article that takes this topic one step further.

What do people think about in the moments before their death? To explore this unfathomable question, Michael Shermer, author of The Moral Arc, analyzed the final statements of 417 death row inmates. His work is not intended to glorify or denounce the accused, rather, it is intended to explore the mindsets of those facing certain death.

According to a text analysis program, “love,” “know,” “family,” “thank” and “sorry” were the words most commonly used. Shermer provides some examples of the final statements:

To my family, to my mom, I love you.

I appreciate everybody for their love and support. You all keep strong, thank you for showing me love and teaching me how to love.

I want to tell my sons I love them; I have always loved them.

I would like to extend my love to my family members and my relatives for all of the love and support you have showed me.

As the ocean always returns to itself, love always returns to itself.

Forgiveness and love were the two main emotions. Shermer found that 44 percent either apologized for their crimes or asked for forgiveness from the families present. Seventy percent of the statements included effusive love language.

Connection to others was a recurring theme. Shermer posits that people say what they truly feel and believe in the seconds before their death and then prioritize those emotions and thoughts by what matters most.

 

I wish you all the best,

Dr. Samantha Boardman

Inspire Your Community to Take Action

Doing good is good for you. One of the best ways to turn a bad day around is to do something for someone else. This is not just feel-good self-help advice – it is scientifically proven. A growing body of research shows the mental and physical benefits of performing acts of kindness.

Experts call this the “helper’s high.” By taking action in our daily lives, we not only help solve some of the world’s biggest challenges, but we can boost our own well-being. In one study, people who were asked to perform daily acts of kindness for ten days experienced significant boosts in happiness.

The benefits of doing things for others are both immediate and enduring. A short term “dose” of positive emotion can lead to lasting change by broadening mindsets and creating self-sustaining positivity.

Take action today. Inspire yourself. Inspire others. What are you waiting for?

Appeared originally on Global Citizen

I wish you all the best,

Dr. Samantha Boardman

Are You Up to The Challenge? 2 Questions to Predict How Well You Will Handle an Emergency

In 2009, Captain Chelsey “Sully” Sullenberger, successfully landed US Airways Flight 1549 in the icy Hudson River after the engines failed. All of the passengers and crew survived. The incident is known as “The Miracle on the Hudson.”

The word “miracle” suggests divine intervention but Sullenberger’s decidedly grounded mindset during the emergency underscores the value of earthly experience and skill. Sullenberger is certainly a hero but it was more than heroism that enabled him to do what he did. Research helps explain how Sullenberger rose to the challenge.

How pilots respond to a stressful situation was the subject of a recent study of commercial airline pilots in a flight simulator exercise. Two simple questions predicted how the pilots would react:

  1. “How demanding do you expect the task to be?”
  2. “How able are you to cope with the demands of the task?”

The pilots scored their answer to each question on a scale of 1 (not at all) to 6 (extremely). The difference between the two provided a single measure of whether the pilots interpreted the forthcoming emergency as a challenge (when coping ability outweighs demands) or a threat (coping ability insufficient for the demands).

The important finding was that this single measure accurately predicted how well the pilots subsequently coped with the engine failure during the flight simulation. Pilots who rated the upcoming situation as more of a threat tended to perform worse than those who rated it more as a challenge.

In other words, those who felt up to the challenge did better.

What the pilots paid attention to during the emergency was particularly important. The pilots who felt threatened during the crisis were looking in the wrong places whereas those who felt up to the task focused on the right controls.

The study has implications for pilot training and beyond the cockpit. Approaching an obstacle or crisis with both competence and confidence can make a sizeable difference in how you weather a storm.

 

I wish you all the best,

Dr. Samantha Boardman

Positive Punctuality: How to Be On Time

There’s nothing worse than being late: the frantic rush to get there, the shame when you arrive, the excuses, fumbling to recover your grace and dignity.

Here are some tips and tricks to be on time:

1. Know your Inner clock

Why are you always late? Is it the commute, losing track of time while you eat cereal staring at the news, the last minute dog walk? Figure out the causes and tweak your schedule accordingly: check the traffic before you leave, don’t watch the news, walk the dog as soon as you get up rather than right before you shoot out the door.

Are you a morning person? Be realistic; if you’re not a morning person try scheduling meetings and appointments for the afternoon.

Know how long things really take. Make a log of everything you do and how long it takes. You’d be surprised, some of the most trivial tasks take much longer than we think, like folding laundry or doing the dishes.

2. Trick Time

Set your clock a few minutes earlier.

Schedule being early. If your appointment is at 1pm, put it in your calendar as 12:45. Planning on being early leaves time for any last minute things that need doing, including checking your teeth for spinach and gathering yourself for that meeting or job interview.

3. Save time and Sanity in the AM

Wake up earlier. It’s worth it. There’s no worse way to start the day than in a panicked rush.

Prep the night before. Make your lunch and lay out your outfit.

Organize your exit. Keys, check. Wallet, check. Jacket, check. Don’t waste time loosing them, designate a spot near your door and always leave them there.

4. And Finally:

Just say no. Anyone would rather a rain check than waiting for an hour. It’s okay to say no to friends and social engagements. You get annoyed when a friend is tardy; imagine how annoyed they get when they’re waiting for you.

I’ve been on a calendar, but I’ve never been on time.

~Marilyn Monroe

 

I wish you all the best,

Dr. Samantha Boardman

1...767778...82Page 77 of 82
Facebook Instagram Linkedin TikTok Twitter

WELLBEING IS A VERB

This website is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Copyright 2025 Positive Prescription. All rights reserved.