Ordering dinner at a restaurant seems like a relatively straightforward process. You look over the menu, listen to the waiter pitch specials and make a decision. You order.

Not so fast. Research in psychology reveals that what we order has little to do with what we feel like eating or how hungry we are. There are a number of factors influencing us.

1. The menu

Unbeknownst to most customers, where items are placed on a menu makes a difference. As renowned psychologist and food expert Paul Rozin’s research demonstrates, dishes placed at the top or the bottom of the menu of their category are up to twice as popular as those placed in the center of the list.

Text also matters and descriptive menu labels have been shown to boost sales, too. For instance, “cooked in our wood-burning oven” is more appealing than “fried” or “roasted.” Descriptions that trigger happy memories are especially popular: “Grandma’s home-baked potatoes” sounds so much better than “baked potatoes.”

2. The first order influences the rest

According to Tom Rath, if the first person ordering chooses a healthy option it puts subconscious pressure on everyone else to follow suit. However, if the first person chooses the fried chicken, it subtly encourages others to give in to temptation. This behavior facilitates what Rath describes as the “It’s not as bad as what she ordered mentality,” justifying less-than-healthy choices.

3. The more people you dine with, the more food you consume

The presence of other people influences not only what is eaten but also how much is eaten. Studies show that eating with friends often leads to longer meals where more food is consumed. Observing the eating behavior of someone else, such as a role model, a parent or a friend, can subconsciously influence your choices. For example, if your boss offers you a cookie, odds are you will take one. If your friend asks for the dessert menu and wants to order the cheesecake, you will probably order something too, or at the very least decide to split something.

4. Family style doesn’t help, either

As Rath’s research demonstrates, when extra food is readily available and within reach, people are more likely to consume more.

My advice: Pay attention. Be mindful when ordering and eating. Before you get to the restaurant, think about what you want to eat and stick to the plan. Next time you feel the overwhelming urge to order the steak and French fries, be sure you really want it.

Remember hearing about the New York City police officer who bought socks and shoes for a barefoot homeless man on a cold night? Unbeknownst to him, the random act of kindness was captured on camera and subsequently went viral. The good deed made headlines for days. Every time I saw or read anything about it, I was moved to tears. And more importantly, it made me want to be a better person.

Jonathan Haidt calls this ‘elevation,’ — the moving experience we feel when we bear witness to an act of courage, compassion or beauty. Haidt believes that elevation is related to awe, and it’s easy to see the similarities. During moments of elevation negative feelings are replaced with hope, love, optimism and moral inspiration. It can be, according to Haidt, a mental ‘reset’ button. Extraordinarily powerful elevation experiences can lead to long-lasting changes in the brain, personality changes and ultimately the experience of greater positivity as manifested as love, moral growth and commitment to pro-social causes.

Above all, elevation plays a role in strengthening the fabric of our relationships and bringing us closer to the ones we love.

Perhaps elevation is the mother of all positive emotion.

Whenever I had a really demanding day at work, my instinct was always to power through it.  Other than a quick bite at my desk for lunch I never took any breaks and I certainly didn’t waste time chitchatting with my colleagues.

Little did I know that I had it all wrong.  According to research—yes, there is research about this kind of thing—taking breaks makes your more productive, not less.

Of course, not any old break will do. What you do and when you do it matters.

Here is a guide to truly restful, restorative and resilience-building downtime.

1. What are you waiting for?

Instead of holding off until the afternoon to take a break, research shows that taking frequent short breaks earlier in the day is a smarter way to restore mental and physical energy.

2. Unplug

Don’t use breaks to check personal email, browse the internet, read the newspaper, or do anything that demands mental energy. Even though these activities are not technically “work” they are draining the very same cognitive resources you use when you are working.

3. Get social

Recharge your battery by chatting with friends and colleagues during a break. According to research, engaging in face-to-face social interactions is more effective at reducing emotional exhaustion than looking at your smart phone.

4. Take a walk

As tempting as it may be to sit back and watch funny cat videos at your desk during a break, you will get a greater energy boost from taking a walk around the block.

5. Make it mindful

Take advantage of the “in-between” moments—the walk to the conference room, while waiting on line for coffee, the time before a presentation begins—to practice mindfulness and be present. Don’t succumb to the temptation to reach for your phone.

6. Meditate

A 10 to 20-minute meditation can work wonders to reduce stress and replenish mental reserves. There are a bunch of great apps out there—I love Headspace.