I may listen for a living but, like most people, I can become a Chatty Cathy very quickly. Talking a lot is tempting but it can also be toxic.

An article by Dr. Mark Goulston, provides some practical advice on when to talk and when to zip it. He recommends obeying the Traffic Light Rule:

“In the first 20 seconds of talking, your light is green: your listener is liking you, as long as your statement is relevant to the conversation and hopefully in service of the other person. But unless you are an extremely gifted raconteur, people who talk for more than roughly half minute at a time are boring and often perceived as too chatty. So the light turns yellow for the next 20 seconds — now the risk is increasing that the other person is beginning to lose interest or think you’re long-winded.

At the 40-second mark, your light is red. Yes, there’s an occasional time you want to run that red light and keep talking, but the vast majority of the time, you’d better stop or you’re in danger.”

If you’re not good at keeping time, pay attention to your partner’s eyes. If they’re rolling it’s probably a sign to stop talking.

Following the Traffic Light Rule is challenging – trust me, I’m working on it, too.

As the old saying goes:

There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

It’s nice to be recognized for being nice, but the emotional benefits of doing something good for someone else abound regardless of whether the recipient notices. For example, if a man shovels snow off his next-door neighbor’s driveway, the gesture boosts the shoveler’s wellbeing even if the neighbor remains clueless.

Along similar lines, a new study highlights how doing the right thing or the kind thing for your significant other is rewarding in itself. Small, everyday gestures such as changing personal plans for your partner’s sake, doing something that shows you value them and expressing tenderness will boost your emotional wellbeing. If he or she happens to notice, great, but if not, your day will be the better for it. Promise.

Happiness is… being nice to people.

For many years, I had a dark and dingy office with a soot-smeared window in a sterile hospital building. It was minimalist, to say the least: a bookshelf, a desk, a chair for me, and a sofa for my patients. Looking back, I think I had an unconscious hope that this no-frills telegraphed how seriously I took my job and that my office was a place for serious work with patients. In my mind, it was a place to get good work done. Period.

Had I known then what I know now about how one’s environment affects our wellbeing, at the very least, I would have had my windows cleaned! Our surroundings influence our bodies and our minds. Especially the amount of light we receive. Study after study shows the benefits of spending time in a light-filled environment:

1. Happiness

Workers with windows are more satisfied and less stressed than those who spend their days in windowless offices.

2. Improved Performance

Students perform better and are more attentive in classrooms with windows. In one study students in classrooms with the most daylight progressed 20 percent faster in math over one year compared to their peers with less light, and 26 percent faster in reading.

3. Better Sleep

People who have access to natural daylight throughout the day sleep better than those who don’t.

4. Quicker Recovery Time

Patients recovering in sunny rooms have shorter hospital stays and require less pain medication than patients who have lousy views or no window at all.

5. More Ethical

Researchers found that well-lit environments increase honesty while darkness increases morally questionable behavior. As the researchers ask, why are we so stunned when we hear about a crime that occurred in “broad daylight.”

Imagine you are hearing/reading a news story reporting that a person was murdered in broad daylight while sitting on a park bench. Why does “broad daylight” attract your attention? Is it that people believe that good deeds happen when the sun is out? In contrast to the association between darkness and evil, light has always been a symbol of goodness.

Of course, the best way to experience the benefits of natural daylight is to go outside. A Washington, DC-based doctor literally prescribes time outdoors to his patients. No insurance pre-approval or co-pay needed!

While this might sound like a throwback to the good old days when doctors would send their patients to the countryside to recover from Tuberculosis or other ailments, I assure you that spending time outdoors is cutting edge medicine.