8 Tips To Help You Survive Thanksgiving

Just in time for the holidays. Here are a few tips that will help you and your family survive and enjoy this holiday season.

1. Walk off the stress and cravings

Family-induced stress can lead to cravings. Polishing off a pumpkin pie goes from tempting to irresistible after an argument with your opinionated cousin. Instead of heading for the refrigerator, go for a 15-minute walk.

2. Put your phone away

A visible phone undermines the quality of conversation. Don’t even think about putting it on the dinner table.

3. Avoid hot button topics 

Politics, money, religion, sex and health are dinner party “no-nos” for obvious reasons. These topics tend to bring out the worst in people, even typically unemotional ones. 

4. Sit at a round table

If you are concerned about conflict, you may want to consider a scientifically proven strategy for keeping the peace: use a round table. People seated at a round table – as opposed to a rectangular or square one – get along better and are less likely to bicker.

5. Beware of what you miss when you snap a pic

Snapping pictures influences what we remember. This phenomenon is called the ‘photo-taking impairment effect.’ If you are busy taking photos, you may miss the moment. 

6. Turkey tastes better when shared

Food and wine taste better when shared. We are social creatures and our wellbeing—both physical and mental—depends on our connections. Reach out to someone who may be on their own, don’t assume everyone has plans. Extend an invitation and be a bright spot in someone else’s life. 

7. Be kind

Studies show that kindness breeds kindness. It’s contagious, so pass it on. Research illustrates the numerous health benefits of being kind: increased happiness, closer relationships, greater life satisfaction, decreased stress, a stronger immune system including greater cardiovascular health, and decreased physical pain.

8. Gain time by giving it away

If the holiday season leaves you feeling pressed for time, try giving it away. Volunteering and doing things for others, rather than focusing on ourselves expands our sense of time. On that note, if you are interested in volunteering or making a charitable contribution this year, City-Meals-on-Wheels is a great organization that delivers nutritious meals to New York’s elder population.

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving.

“Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action.” ~W.J. Cameron

I wish you all the best,

Dr. Samantha Boardman

Take Time for Traditions

A toast before champagne; blowing out candles and making a wish before tucking into birthday cake; ceremoniously carving a turkey or saying grace before digging into Thanksgiving dinner. Ever stop to think if there’s a reason for all this tradition steeped on tradition?

Research shows that we savor and appreciate food and drink more when a ritual precedes it. Delayed gratification, more enjoyment and a sense of deeper meaning contribute to the enhanced experience. By linking rituals to beneficial behaviors like healthy eating or exercise, those positive behaviors are more likely to be experienced as pleasurable and thus, more likely to be practiced.

My favorite traditions for the season: a long family walk after Thanksgiving dinner and delivering meals to the elderly with Citymeals-on-Wheels in the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I wish you all the best,

Dr. Samantha Boardman

Julee Wilson

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Live A Life Without Regret

A nurse who worked in palliative care listened to the final words of those on their deathbeds. She recorded their thoughts and put them in a book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. 

There is no mention of making more money, spending more time watching television, updating Facebook, or responding to email. All five regrets reflect a longing for more meaning and connection. Somehow the hustle and bustle of daily life got in the way of what truly mattered.

Avoid this happening to you by creating a weekly work/life check-in. Here is how Qualtric CEO Ryan Smith, master of the universe, created a weekly ritual:

Each week, I examine the categories of my life — father, husband, CEO, self — and identify the specific actions that help me feel successful and fulfilled in these capacities. This weekly ritual helps me feel like I’m doing everything in my power to address my needs and the needs of those around me. This is important because I can’t lose sight of the business agenda, and we’ve all seen or read about what it looks like when you lose sight of your family’s needs.

Think of it as a check engine light to ensure you are spending your time according to your priorities and living a life in concert with your values. Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.

I wish you all the best,

Dr. Samantha Boardman

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The Paradox of Horror: Why We Love To Be Afraid

Why do some people love to be afraid? Psychologists tell us we are pleasure-seeking and pain-avoiding creatures and yet many are drawn to scary movies and other hair-raising experiences:

Audience members of an effective horror film often appear to react in much the same way as they would if they were confronted with a terrifying and disgusting situation outside the theater. They grimace, cower, dig their nails into their armrests, cover their eyes, and plead in vain for someone to make it stop. When they leave…many of them speak of the experience they just had with great enthusiasm and express eagerness to return for more of the same.

We humans are a strange species indeed. Psychologists call the enjoyment of painful emotions like disgust and fear, the “paradox of horror.” It turns out happiness and horror can go hand in hand. This makes no sense at all…or does it?

Aristotle believed people are drawn to scary stuff because it provides a safe way to purge themselves of aggression and other negative emotions. A more modern interpretation is that artificially scary situations provide vicarious thrills, excitement, and an experience of being fully alive. Certainly some people are more arousal seeking than others and these adrenaline junkies are typically the same types who love roller coasters and bungee jumping. (Full disclosure: I would rather watch paint dry than sit through a Chuckie or Freddy Krueger film.)

Watching a scary film can also be a bonding experience and cultivate connections between moviegoers for “surviving” the horror together. Fright facilitates canoodling and removes barriers that might otherwise inhibit close physical contact. A scary moment is the best excuse to grab someone’s hand or literally jump into their lap. Perhaps this helps explain why scary movies are so popular with couples on date nights.

While there may be benefits to facing one’s fears in a horror movie, a study showed how watching a scary movie impacts subsequent decision-making. In the study, they showed half of the participants horror movies while the other half watched documentaries about Vincent Van Gogh and Benjamin Franklin.

Afterwards, they were all asked to participate in a stock market simulation experiment. Those who watched horror movies were far more likely to sell early. The belief is that a scary experience triggered lingering fear and that this fear was projected onto decisions later on.

Arthur Conan Doyle famously said:

“Where there is no imagination – there is no horror.”

Just don’t let your imagination run away with you.

I wish you all the best,

Dr. Samantha Boardman