Full disclosure: New Year’s resolutions are the bane of my January-February existence. In theory, they are a wonderfully positive chance to turn over a new leaf — to try to get more sleep, exercise more, spend more time with the family and less time plugged into work. In reality, for many, they are something we do for a few weeks and then can’t maintain for various reasons, legitimate or not. Either we set too many goals at once or we set unrealistic goals.

But resolutions don’t need to be wishful thinking (nor do they need to be relegated to just the January time slot, either). Here are some truly easy ways to make and keep those resolutions:

Set S.M.A.R.T Goals

There’s an art to setting goals that will make achieving them much easier. Remember this equation: Specific Measurable Align with values Realistic Time-based. So don’t just say you want to lose weight. Rather, you want to get healthier by losing 5 pounds in one month so you check your weight every morning before eating oatmeal for breakfast and walking to work.

Focus, Don’t Fix

How many of our resolutions are about changing something we don’t like about ourselves? Here’s a twist that will help maintain that goal: focus on the positive and choose a resolution around something that you’re good at. For instance, if you love art, resolve to go to the museum once a month or paint more. If you love playing tennis, commit to a doubles group.

To Fail is Human (and Good For You)

There’s no reason to scrap an entire goal because you missed a few workouts, ate a donut or smoked a cigarette. Put it in perspective — did you ace every test in school? Figure out what you did wrong and “fail better,” learn from your mistakes and come up with a new strategy that will serve you all year long. And maybe allow yourself a little leeway so you’re less likely to completely give up.

The Little Engine That Could Was Right

Saying “I think I can, I think I can” translates into a deep-seeded belief in one’s capabilities and ultimately, one’s well-being. It’s the self-efficacy theory. Believing you can accomplish what you want is more than just a mindset. It’s a path to success.

Time Check

It’s time to spend more time doing things that we value doing — it’ll be healthy for us. (And no, watching tv, playing video games and working are not on that list. Most people say they feel unsatisfied after doing them.) Time well spent can be anything from spending time outdoors, in charitable activities, socializing with friends and family and yes, relaxing or just daydreaming. Write down the three most important things in your life — and then do them.

It is said that home is a feeling, not a place. But for many of us, the house we grew up in occupies sacred ground in our hearts. No matter how old we are or how many miles away we live, it still feels like home. We may feel “at home” in a number of different places but only a handful have the distinction of being home.   

Whenever I visit my parent’s old house in the city, where my father now lives with my stepmother, the instinctive feeling of being truly home washes over me. Before I walk through the doorway, I know I have arrived. Even if I were blindfolded, I could identify the distinctive sound of the gravel as the car rolls into the driveway. From basement to attic, I know every nook and cranny. In an ever-changing world, the familiar smell, the unique creak of the cupboards, and the eternal cracks in the wooden floor have all reassuringly remained the same. The house is a psychological haven for me — where the stress of adult life melts away and I am inspired by a feeling of being a kid again. Nostalgia? Sure, but it’s more than that. It provides a sense of identity and also reminds me of how far I have come.

We have a powerful connection to the places that shaped us, and research is beginning to gain a deeper understanding of the visceral and intangible feeling that these special places evoke. Using fMRI brain technology, researchers found that key areas of emotional processing in the brain are activated by places that participants had strong emotional ties to. Related research supported that meaningful places induce a sense of calmness and belonging. Fond memories and shared experiences with family and friends contribute significantly to why these places make us feel complete. These findings shed light on the magnetic pull our childhood homes have on so many of us and why we love going home for the holidays.

There is a flipside. While some love the idea of being with family during the holidays, not everyone feels warm and fuzzy about it. Past grievances, painful memories and diverging political opinions are among the many reasons this time of year can be stressful. To minimize friction, spend as much time as you can gathered around the fireplace. Research by anthropologist Polly Wiessner shows that once our ancestors learned to control fire, in addition to using it for cooking, they began to use it for storytelling as well. By extending the day, fire allowed people to unleash their imaginations and engage others with stories which, in turn, fostered deeper social connections.

According to Wiessner, “Stories told by firelight put listeners on the same emotional wavelength and elicited understanding, trust, and sympathy.”

A place full of understanding, trust, and sympathy… Sounds like home to me.

This post originally appeared on Tory Burch.

According to most swimming superstars,“Getting in a cold pool first thing in the morning” is the single hardest thing about training. Those first few minutes are the toughest part of the day. They dread the initial immersion in the chilly water and even though they do it everyday most say they never get used to it.

But once they’re in, they’re in.

Overcoming the initial pain, worry, or discomfort can be the most challenging part of any endeavor but it is the only way to reach your potential:

Just like how athletes must practice to be comfortable in discomfort, you must as well if you hope to improve your skills and advance your career. The hard stuff, the stuff you’d rather skip or do later is often the stuff that’s most necessary. Every time we choose to play it safe or bypass challenging intellectual prompts, we impede our ability to innovate and grow, waste our own (or our company’s) money, and squander our talent.

Fear is often at the core of resistance to make a change. So how do you push past it? Break it down. Ask yourself, “What is the very first step I need to take?” and take it. As Special Forces Instructor Mark Hickey describes,

I can say from my own experience that after you do one thing and conquer it, the next thing is a little bit easier.

Each time you fight through the discomfort, you arm yourself with confidence, you fortify yourself with experience and you inoculate yourself against setbacks. Taking action is empowering regardless of the outcome. Don’t hesitate or dip your toe in the water.

The best way to deal with initial discomfort is to literally jump in as the swimmers do. I cannot promise that the rest will go swimmingly well but getting wet certainly makes swimming easier