“While I’m proud of my accomplishments, I have a hard time talking about them. I think it comes off as bragging or false modesty or that I’m “selling” myself. How can I better advocate for myself?”

Self-promotion can be uncomfortable. In fact, both men and women fear that it might make other people, not like them, but men do it anyway. Women, on the other hand, are often paralyzed by concerns about backlash and being disliked and, as a result, don’t speak up for themselves. While it is certainly true that women who are seen as too boastful or aggressive might be penalized, keeping quiet about what you have done and what you are capable of doing comes at an even greater cost. Research shows that women who do more to make their achievements known are more likely to be promoted, receive greater compensation, and are more satisfied with their careers.

Simply put, don’t let misplaced modesty erode your potential. Here are a few strategies to help you toot your own horn.

1. Stick to the facts:

Use verifiable data like numbers, grades, and awards to demonstrate your accomplishments.

2. Own your success:

As psychologist Corinne Moss-Racusin of Skidmore College in New York observed, “Women tend to give their success away. They’ll say, ‘I was so lucky to work on a good team’ or ‘My adviser really helped me do this project.’ ” While it is important to give others credit, be sure to take credit for your contributions.

3. Channel your inner PR agent:

Think about someone who admires your work and imagine what she might say about you. I did this when I was applying for a promotion at the hospital and found it to be extremely helpful.

4. Check yourself:

Bear in mind that there is a difference between being an advocate for yourself and an insufferable braggart. Making others aware of your hard work will help them get to know you better and also help you get ahead. If you don’t tell them how awesome you are, who will?

This article originally appeared in the December 2019 issue of Marie Claire. 

Whenever anyone wants to make some serious changes in their life, conventional wisdom holds that they should focus on one thing at a time. The thinking goes that you will overdo it if you try to make too many changes at once.

As a psychiatrist, I have often dispensed the good old “one thing at a time” advice. I would caution my overzealous patients, “You cannot possibly tackle everything at once. First things first. Let’s start with improving your mental health. Then you can tackle the other issues like getting in shape and quitting smoking.”

Recent research suggests that this “step-by-step” mindset seriously underestimates our ability to transform ourselves. According to the study, people are capable of multiple simultaneous changes in their mental and physical health and that a comprehensive approach enhances success in all areas. Participants in the study showed dramatic improvements in a number of domains including strength, endurance, flexibility, working memory, standardized test performance, focus, mood, self-esteem, mindfulness, and life satisfaction.

The lead researcher, Michael Mrazek, explains:

“Recent research suggests its often more effective to make two or more changes simultaneously, especially when those changes reinforce one another. It’s easier to drink less coffee if at the same time you get more sleep. Our intervention extended this logic by helping people make progress in many ways, which can create an upward spiral where one success supports the next.”

The results of the study were described as “clear and striking” and they lasted.  Even six weeks after the study, participants continued to show improvement in all areas.

The study makes me optimistic about what is possible for all of us. We are capable of far more than we think and realizing our full potential just might be easier than we ever imagined.

William James says it best:

To change one’s life:

1. Start immediately.

2. Do it flamboyantly.

3. No exceptions.

“Would you like to see the dessert menu?”

For anyone trying to eat healthy, this seemingly innocent query can seem like an absurd question and a downright hostile provocation. Of course, you would like to see the dessert menu and to inhale the chocolate mousse, but as someone who cares about health, you grit your teeth and order a tea instead. Or not…

Truth be told, dessert is extremely hard to resist, even for those with a great deal of self-control, when everyone else at the table is indulging. Research shows that we make similar choices to the people we dine with. If all of your friends are ordering cheesecake, odds are you will too, or at least take a bite.

The good news is that not all desserts created are equally bad for you. Research from Harvard’s School of Public Health found a delicious option that is healthier than the traditional and decadent triple chocolate cake but is still a treat — a trio of fruit, nuts, and dark chocolate. Motivated by his own sweet tooth, nutrition scientist Walter Willett was on a mission to create a smart dessert without all the added sugar, refined flour, and unhealthy fat. Based on his research he concocted a “better” dessert that skips the unhealthy stuff, is tasty and combines what he calls The Three Pleasures:

Fruit

A refreshing and naturally sweet option that brings a burst of color to the plate. Dried fruits can also work well.

Nuts

Along with a satisfying crunch and a variety of flavors, nuts are a great source of healthy fat and protein.

Dark chocolate

Depending on the brand and cocoa percentage, dark chocolate offers a wide range of complex and delightful flavors. Remember that the higher the cocoa percentage, the less sweet it will be — 70% or higher is a nice complement to the sweetness of the fruit!

Next time you’re out, look for this trio or ask the chef to prepare a dessert with The Three Pleasures in mind. Willett hopes that if the public gets involved on a mass scale, this request will challenge chefs everywhere to harness their creativity and redesign dessert.

At last, you can have your dessert and eat it, too.

“In happiness, as in so many other things, location is key.”

According to research, a location that maximizes proximity to the natural world is one of the best ways to maximize well-being. Studies show a link between nature and wellbeing.

Just 20 minutes outside can boost your mood, broaden thinking and improve memory. Even exercise performed in outdoor natural environments versus indoors has been shown to be associated with greater feelings of revitalization and positive engagement, decreases in tension, anger and depression and increased energy. Moreover, participants reported greater enjoyment and satisfaction with outdoor activity and declared greater intent to repeat the activity at a later date.

There is a consistent positive relationship between being outdoors and subjective experiences of vitality—feeling engaged and alive. This effect appears to be independent of physical activity. In other words, just sitting on a park bench and taking in the beauty of one’s natural surroundings is revitalizing and conducive to well-being.

Even people who have had surgery recover more quickly if they can see trees from their window, require fewer painkillers and call the nurse less often. “The view of nature was enough to make them feel better and to hasten their recovery.” Cognitive functioning in children has been shown to improve with proximity to nature and other studies show that contact with nature may improve symptoms of ADHD. The “greener” a child’s play area, the less severe his or her attention deficit symptoms. Some studies suggest there is less ADHD in countries like the Netherlands where children walk or bike to school.

Green spaces also help buffer against stress, especially for urban dwellers. Studies show that metropolitan populations are far more likely than rural ones to suffer from mental illnesses such as depression and schizophrenia and that the pressure of city life can charge brain physiology thereby increasing the risk of emotional disorders. Green spaces and parks can help combat this stress and promote well-being.

Simply put, being outdoors makes people happier and healthier. Pulitzer prize winning evolutionary biologist E.O. Wilson calls this biophilia—our inherent love and attraction to natural environments.

Catie Marron captures our inborn affinity for nature in her beautiful book, City Parks: Public Places, Private Thoughts. It is a compilation of beautifully written essays by Zadie Smith, Jonathan Alter, Bill Clinton and other fellow biophiles about their favorite parks. Oberto Gili’s beautiful photographs capture the mood and essence of dozens of park during various seasons the world over.

As Catie Marron writes in her introduction:

“Parks are of the earth, they are of the people, and they give the best possible glimpse of the sky and stars amid the high-rises and rooftops of crowded urban life.”

Parks reconnect us with our fundamental need for nature. They take the edge off. They are where you get lost and where you can also find yourself. They are natural Prozac. If you cannot take a walk in the park today, City Parks is the next best thing. I wholeheartedly recommend it.

In the words of Frederick Law Olmsted:

“The enjoyment of scenery employs the mind without fatigue and yet exercises it; tranquilizes it and yet enlivens it; and thus, through the influence of the mind over the body gives the effect of refreshing rest and reinvigoration to the whole system.”