What Happens When We Throw Away the “I” in “I Love You”
I have a pet peeve. (Actually I have many pet peeves but will focus on just one for brevity’s sake.) It has become increasingly common...
The Uplift Effect: 6 Micro-Acts to Brighten Your Day Every Day
Yes there is a lot to be stressed out about these days. Our collective bingo card of catastrophes and crises is full–climate change, the...
Not What You Think — A Counterintuitive Strategy to Boost Motivation
We all have so much going on in our lives, so let me distill the research on wellbeing for you. Think of these quick...
It’s Time to Stop Evaluating Your Emotions
Along with bell bottoms and feathered hair, mood rings were all the rage in the 1970s. A quick glance at the color of the...
The Secret Sauce of Wellbeing: People, Place, and Purpose
“If you had diabetes, would you take insulin?” This was the question I was trained to ask any patient who was on the fence...
The Perils of Reality Avoidance: How to Overcome Denial and Groupthink
Why do so many smart people miss obvious warning signals that are right in front of their nose? Denial is a powerful motivator. Think...
Doubting Resilience Undermines Resilience
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” Henry Ford
Imagine a stressful everyday situation—being late to a meeting, giving an important...
Is This Why You Overindulge?
We all have so much going on in our lives, so let me distill the research on wellbeing for you. Think of these quick...
Athlete or Not, Science Says to Do This if You Want to Keep Your...
A free throw in basketball is an intensely stressful situation. All eyes are on the player. Will they or won’t they sink the shot?...
Reflect, Don’t React
According to the old adage, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all. (As an aside, growing up, my...
The Benefit of Keeping Your Feelings to Yourself
Whenever Abraham Lincoln felt the need to give someone a piece of his mind, he would fire off a harsh letter. Putting pen to paper was...
The Problem With Labeling People as ‘Toxic’
Toxic is a word that gets thrown around a lot these days. As a psychiatrist, I hear it frequently during therapy sessions—to describe parents,...
Forget Work-Life Balance
Have you ever met someone who has actually achieved work-life balance? I haven’t. As Oliver Burkeman wrote in the best-selling book Four Thousand Weeks: Time...
When It Comes to Venting, Sharing Is Not Caring
It is no wonder that my patient felt drained after spending a weekend with an old friend who was known to be a relentless...
Conflict Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
The Good Fight
Call me cynical but I worry whenever I hear a couple say, “we never argue.” Tiptoeing around disagreements might feel good in...
An Antidote for Wound Collecting
“Being impacted by being what happened to you isn’t victimhood, it’s human.
Making an identity out of it is victimhood.”
— Seerut Chawla
The stories we tell...
A Case for Sweeping Negative Emotions Under the Rug
Suppressing negative thoughts might improve mental health. This isn’t a typo. Nor is it a lingering belief from my WASPY upbringing. It’s the findings of a new...
The Perils of Certitude and the Joy of Being Wrong
While it might be human to make mistakes, we are often reluctant to admit to them. When it comes to taking responsibility, we waffle, come...
3 Phrases to Use More of in 2024 and 1 to Use Less
Words hold power. The more we talk about what inspires us, the more inspired we become. The more we talk about what diminishes us,...
8 Ways to Make Meaningful Small Talk
Does the thought of making small talk fill you with dread? You’re not alone. Most people dislike idle chitchat because it feels fake and...