Yes there is a lot to be stressed out about these days. Our collective bingo card of catastrophes and crises is full–climate change, the election, inflation, and the Middle East, to name a few. And that’s just the big bad stuff. Everyday hassles are a reservoir of anxiety and worry too–getting stuck in traffic, finding parking, standing in line, getting kids ready for school, going to the grocery store are among the microstressors that can feel pretty macro in the moment.
Molehills become mountains when we’re depleted. And what do most of us do when we feel strung out? We reach for our phones, naturally. The behavior is automatic. Whenever there is a hint of discomfort or downtime, we turn to our screens. No notifications necessary. Contrary to all that well meaning advice that we should turn off notifications if we want to spend less time on our phones, a study found that 89 percent of smartphone interactions are initiated by the user and only 11 percent are prompted by an alert. Instead of blaming the pings and vibrations, perhaps it’s time to take responsibility. Put simply, the issue is us, not our devices. As the one and only Taylor Swift sings, “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me.”
Our phones are basically an all-you-can-eat buffet for our brains. No wonder Shiri Melumad, an associate professor at Wharton, calls our devices “adult pacifiers.” In the same way that a child totes around a security blanket or stuffed animal to self-soothe, we seek comfort from our phones. But our devices may be less calming than we think. There is plenty of evidence showing that checking social media makes us feel badly about ourselves and we all know that doomscrolling is not exactly a recipe for joy. New research published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that scrolling through our phones actually increases boredom. Instead of pacifiers, they are more like exasperaters…
If we want to feel better, there are better options than reaching for our adult pacifiers. A recent analysis found that people who engaged in one of the following “micro-acts” over the course of seven days experienced a 25% increase in emotional wellbeing:
Do something kind
Think of someone you care deeply about. What is one thing you could do to brighten their day?
Tune in to what matters
Consider your values. How do they manifest in your life?
Give thanks
Reflect on anyone or anything you are grateful for. What would your life be like without them?
Dwell in awe
Lose yourself in something bigger. Gaze at the stars. Watch the sunset. Find something that gives you goosebumps.
Celebrate another’s joy
Ask someone you know to tell you about a favorite moment in their life. What made it so special?
Shift your perspective
Recall a moment when you felt upset and frustrated. What did you learn from that experience?
In addition to reporting better emotional wellbeing, engaging in one of these micro-acts each day for a week generated a 23% increase in positive emotions and almost a third of participants reported feeling better about their relationships. What I found to be particularly interesting was how these small but meaningful actions made people feel more in control of their lives and emotions. After the seven days, participants were 27% more likely to agree with the statement “I have felt able to impact, influence, or play an active role in how happy I generally feel.” There was a 34% increase in agreement with the statement “I am in control and on top of things.” Given how out of control life can feel, I thought this finding was especially noteworthy. There is nothing empowering about scrolling through Instagram. As this research highlights, there is something empowering about deliberately adding uplifts to your everyday life.
“Part of this is intention setting,” explains Emiliana Simon-Thomas, science director of the Greater Good Science Center and leader of the project. “If you have a map to where you’re going to go, you’re much more likely to go there,” she says.
These micro-acts do not require a great deal of time or energy but what they do require is engagement. You must follow through. Thinking about uplifts won’t uplift you. The key is to practice and commit to them.
I wish you all the best,
Dr. Samantha Boardman
